Perhaps no man has ever been more committed to stopping crime than T.J. Hooker. He treated every criminal offense like it was a goddamn personal affront to him. BECAUSE IT WAS.
I miss country music. The real kind, where a guy in a lime suit and lime cowboy boots shows up with a blood-alcohol content of .35. Or maybe he doesn’t show up because he’s doing coke in the backseat of a Cadillac Eldorado with a stripper named Mary Lou he met at a Waffle House.
I’ll be making my stand-up debut right here in good ol’ Chicago on December 13th! Hope to see my sweet bastards there for a night of live comedy and laughter. I’m funnier in person, goddamnit! Come on out, will ya?
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The official beverage of “It’s 6 pm on Friday, everyone else has left the office, and I’m gonna need something strong to face the weekend with my family.” Frank has the exact same energy here as the protagonist in Synchronicity II.
If Dan Marino played today he’d rewrite every goddamn passing record in the book. The man passed for 5000 yards in 1984. That’s 6000 yards today and probably more.
"Christmas is a special time in Mr. Robinson's neighborhood. It's a time for giving, and look what Mr. Landlord gave me - it's an eviction notice."
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“Don’t go home, and don't go to eat, and don't play with yourself. It wouldn't look nice on my highway. Oh, you can THINK about it … but don't do it.”
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No disrespect to Charles Nelson Reilly or Brett Somers, but if you made the bonus round you were a goddamn fool if you didn't choose Richard Dawson to match with.